Here she comes now, a smiling, youthful figure as she crosses the road, her colorful scarf setting off her open smile. Omar knows little about her except that she is a rising star in the arena of women’s rights, her fiery speeches inciting revolt against an oppressive government. For this, his masters have decreed she must pay the price.
As the young woman approaches, Omar slips the silenced revolver from his jacket and fires a double tap: one to the heart, one to the head. He knows she is dead as she crumples to the pavement. Omar has killed many times before.
He melts away into the warren of streets and alleys, making good his escape as the shouts of alarm rise. The smells and sounds of the Souk envelop him in a warm cocoon. But his thoughts are again, as they always are, with Waheeda, his beloved wife, dead these past fifteen years. When she was killed in a senseless hit-and-run accident, something in him died as well. The Secret Police found a shattered man and turned him expertly into the grey killer he is now.
Omar turns a corner, and stops dead. What?
Somehow, his steps have led him right back to the killing ground. And here is his target, crossing the road, vibrant, alive, glancing curiously at him as she prepares to pass by. How can this be?
Then his training kicks in, the gun bucking twice in his hand, watching her die a second time.
As Omar flees, his mind boils over with questions. He knows he had killed the woman, it is clear and fresh in his memory, yet the same scene has played out again, exactly as before. Is he going mad? Is he dreaming, will he wake up now?
Yes, it must be a nightmare. For here they are, back again, the woman striding unawares across the road, his hand clenched around the instrument of her death.
Everything pulling him back towards this one point in space and time, making the same choice again and again.
For the first time he actually sees the woman he is about to kill. Someone’s daughter, someone’s sister. A full life ahead of her, love, family, tears, challenges. The possibility of bringing real change to this damned country. All cut short because of him.
What would Waheeda think of him if she could see him now? His insides clench with shame.
Omar reels, his mind breaking open with the humanity he fought so hard and long to suppress.
A man meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it. But how many men are given the chance to change destiny?
He lets the young woman pass by, striding unharmed towards whatever future waits for her. A great, unfamiliar peace descends upon him.
And now it is time. Waheeda is waiting for him. He puts the barrel of the gun to his own head, pulls the trigger and goes to meet his beloved.
Photocomposite credits: Kirill Balobanov, Amy Elting, Norbert Buduczki/Unsplash
