The Hand That Rocks the Cradle.
‘Tippy toes, tippy toes, then on my hands and knees I go–
I crawl into Mommy’s lap,
Never let her go. Thats that.’
It’s my favourite thing to do with Mommy. I play with her, she cuddles me, bathes and dresses me, says she has never loved anyone more than 6 -year old me!
Where is Daddy, you ask? Why, he is away, at most times, sailing foreign lands- that’s what Mommy says. So it’s just me and Mommy, against the world. MOMMY’S heart is sooooo big and she saves all her love, only for me. I am going to ask Mommy to play hide-and – go seek with me, after that we will cuddle and sleep.
….
Today Mommy told me that there is someone in her tummy. She is going to give me a baby brother or sister. BUT I DON’T want anyone. I don’t wish to share my Mommy!
Mommy is changing now. No, I don’t mean just her shape; that’s because it’s her tummy that holds the baby! Mommy’s heart is changing. She is all the time singing and preparing a nursery for the baby. She sometimes forgets to keep my night suit ready for me, after my bath! Today she fed me peanut butter sandwiches. For dinner! She said baby makes her tired.
She holds my hand to her heart. I hear it beating more now, faster, but it feels smaller. Filled with less love for me. She doesn’t let me cuddle her and keeps a big pillow between us on the bed.
Daddy called and told me to help Mommy till he arrives for the birth of THAT BABY! But I don’t want a baby. I want my Mommy and my Mommy’s heart and love. Just for me.
Oh no! Mommy woke up crying. The bed was wet. She was saying something about the baby coming way too early. The baby was hurting Mommy and I wanted to punch Mommy in the stomach, enough to hurt the baby.
Daddy had not returned from the ship when Mommy got the BABY HOME. A yelling, screaming baby brother, who cried worse than Tommy the cat. Oh! I had missed Mommy so much when she was in the hospital but the wicked nurse didn’t let me visit her. Mommy hugged me but refused to play hide- and -go-seek. She said she was tired and slept with the BABY. She kept me on a little cot at the side of her bed! I was so angry. What happened to my Mommy’s love for me? Her big heart was now full of love for Sammy, my brother. People came to visit but no one spoke to me. They carried Sammy. But I just wanted Mommy’s hugs.Then Daddy arrived and Mommy completely forgot me. I was so fed up of bawling Sammy ! I had had enough of him.
Mommy and Daddy went shopping for Sammy ‘s baptism items and the lazy nurse was sleeping in the arm chair. She always fell asleep. Sammy was asleep in his crib.
I took a pillow and covered Sammy’s face. Just incase he cries and ‘wakes’ the nurse. I wanted him to sleep forever. Just like I saw the pillow put someone to sleep forever on the television show Mommy was watching the other day.
Sammy made some funny sounds and then changed colour. Blue. I never saw Sammy turn Blue! I liked him with blue skin. He was quiet. Very quiet.
Mommy and Daddy returned and started screaming and yelling. The nurse was pulling her hair out.
Mommy, will your heart have place for me now, I asked? Let’s play Tippy Toes, Tippy Toes…….
Pic credit
Karolina Grabowska
Unsplash
