I towel my face dry, stand before the mirror, and switch on the electric bulbs that encircle the frame. Bright yellow light falls on my face, and I can see my skin clearly. Yes, there are a few—let me call them laugh lines—but my skin is still supple, my eyes sparkle, and my full lips have a rosy glow.
I play my current favourite song on the phone: ‘Someone Like You’. At once, Adele’s sweet voice fills the room.
‘I had hoped you’d see my face,
And you’d be reminded that,
for me, it isn’t over.’
I hum along, ‘Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes, it hurts instead’.
Before putting on make-up, I take a critical look at my reflection.
That’s when the greyish-pink marks on my face surface: less conspicuous but definitely present. The scars that you have given me!
I move closer, my fingertips mechanically touching them, and I can see my reflection mimicking my actions. I press hard on the bruises.
Do they hurt? Not any more. The old injuries only feel numb.
I put off the lights, switch off the music and flop down on the sofa. I close my eyes tight and think hard. It’s clear that you won’t stop hurting me. Never! Putting up with you will only mean that the abuse will escalate, the scars will increase, and the makeup will get creative.
It’s a hard decision, but I resolve to get rid of you.
But does that determination make me happy? No. The thought is filling my mind with sorrow. I know I will miss you terribly.
How many years back was it that we got together?
Too many—I have lost count.
When you first came into my life, I was just a teenager full of dreams. Now, I am a middle-aged woman stripped of all the rosy outlook of youth. I am old enough to know that I don’t have to put up with you or the constant fear of the bruises you inflict. I don’t need to cover up my face with makeup to fool the world.
I need a change. I need you to go.
Please don’t think I am being ungrateful. I can never forget how you made my life better when we got together. You led me from darkness to light, making me see everyone from new perspectives. You opened my eyes to so many wonders of the world. Your views and visions helped me evolve and become the confident woman I am today.
You were a close companion in all my escapades. We travelled with each other, saw the world together, read side by side, and slept close by. We were hardly apart. I remember those initial days. Even before I opened my eyes, I would reach out to you and smile with delight when I found you beside me.
But gradually, you began to change. The transformation was slow and steady. There was a new hardness to you that grated on me. I did not know when I noticed the first wound. It was followed by a bruise here and a laceration there. It took a long time for me to see that things were becoming worse day by day.
By then, you had become more of a habit. A routine, an addiction!
Seeing the new abrasions on my face, my friends advised me to get rid of you. They warned me that you were more of a hindrance than help, and you made me look dowdy and frumpy. They pointed out that I am a woman of the world and I could easily do much better. They opened my eyes to the infinitely many options out there.
But this decision to forsake you does not make me any happier. I know that when I discard you, you will be broken and never get over it.
But then, what happens to you is not my problem, is it? I will ensure you languish in a dark corner and never see the light again. You will not be able to harm another person. Not on my watch.
***
I take my friends’ advice and look for your replacement. I download apps to narrow down my choices. Then, I meet a few of them in person, too. All of them are modern, smart, and attractive.
When I see the infinitely many choices, I regret having waited all these days.
Yes. Finally, I have decided on who exactly is going to replace you!
I am in love with this uber-cool companion who is everything you were not. Slim, sleek, and slender. Most importantly, I am assured there will be no bruises or scars.
I ensure you are not with me whenever I meet my new friend, which is why you have never met.
I want to be comfortable in my new relationship before I get rid of you.
Being with the new love of my life has changed me so much: It makes me look trendy. People say that my whole personality has changed.
It’s only been a few days, but I know I won’t be hurt, and there will be no injuries or scars.
Now, it’s time to dispose of you: Throw you out of my life.
I sigh and look at you with mixed feelings. My conflicted conscience brings forth a lone tear that slides off my cheeks.
“Goodbye, glasses.” I put you back in your box and shove you into the darkest corner of a drawer.
Then, I gently and carefully fix my new contact lenses and look at myself in the mirror.
Blue eyes make me look classy.
Adele’s soulful voice reverberates from my ear pods, ‘Never mind; I will find someone like you.’
PS: Say NO to scars and bruises – No matter who gave them.
