Satya sat in the courtyard slowly watering the plants with full concentration.
His daily routine consisted of waking up early, going for a walk, watering the plants, eating on time. Once a month, he stepped out to collect his pension.
He was in his early sixties and preferred to keep to himself staring into nothing for long stretches.
“He hardly speaks,’’ some residents of the senior citizen home would say.
No one knew his family or what happened to him because Satya had not been always like this.
He had grown up in a village in the interiors of Madurai where life was tough. He was good in academics, sports, disciplined, honest, hard-working and jovial in nature. His two older brothers were good for nothing who whiled away their time wandering around. His father would often say, ‘’learn something from your younger brother.’’ His parents had pinned all their hopes on Satya and believed he would go far in life.
Satya worked hard and cleared the UPSC examination and secured a job in the Defence Department in Delhi. It was for a clerical post and for him it was a big achievement. “Eat properly, be careful in the new place and call us daily’’, his mother said before he left for Delhi.
He rented a small room in Karol Bagh and started becoming familiar with the new culture, food and language. He spent carefully and sent most of his salary home and was content with what he had.
A few years later, his parents started looking out for a match. Satya met a few girls but he always spoke honestly. “Delhi is expensive,” he would say. “I do not know if I can give you a comfortable life.” Many hesitated and slowly the proposals stopped coming. Satya continued with his life quietly.
Everything was going normally. One day he stopped calling home. His mother tried calling him but there was no answer. His father said,’’he must be busy, he will call’’. A week passed and their worry turned into fear. Their calls went unanswered. They tried to contact his friends in Delhi. They searched his room, his usual places. No one had seen him. His friends lodged a missing complaint but he was untraceable. Satya’s parents rushed to Delhi.
After a few days he was found lying on the roadside naked and in an unconscious state. His parents were shocked to see him in this condition.
Satya opened his eyes in a hospital but there was no recognition in his eyes for his parents. His mother leaned close. “Satya’,’ he did not respond. The doctor said, ‘’we are observing, he seems to be in a mental shock’’. His parent’s hearts sank hearing the doctor’s words.
Back home, he would suddenly become restless, angry or frightened without any reason.
One afternoon he started removing his clothes and ran towards the door.
‘’Satya! what are you doing?’’ his father shouted. Satya seemed to be completely unaware of what he was doing. He had to be stopped and calmed down. His parents felt helpless. They took him to different doctors and psychiatrists. It was clear that something had deeply affected his mind.
Slowly, there was some improvement and he started recognizing his parents and even resumed work. But most of the days he would sit quietly for hours saying nothing.
A doctor suggested that a change in place might help. So, it was decided to be closer to home. After a lot of effort, he got a transfer to Coonoor near Ooty. His parents went with him.
‘’This cold weather aggravates my joint pain’’, his mother said one morning adjusting her shawl. ‘’You have to get used to it’’, his father replied quietly.
Years passed.
Satya’s condition improved slightly but he never returned to normal. He never spoke about what had happened in Delhi. Once he completed the number of years to be eligible for pension he took voluntary retirement and they all moved back to their village.
Sometimes his mother would sit beside him, ‘’what happened Kanna?’’ she would ask softly. ’Tell me’’. He would keep looking at her silently
People around had their own theories. He had worked in the Defence Department and he had access to confidential files. ‘’Do not open files not marked for you,’’ a senior had clearly warned him. People believed that maybe he must have seen something he should not have. He was taken away for questioning and pushed beyond what his mind could handle. Perhaps when it became clear that he was of no use he was thrown on the streets as if nothing had happened. No one knew the truth.
But his life changed forever
But there was one question that remained. What really happened during those missing days in Delhi? Satya never spoke of it. Maybe he could not, maybe he was not allowed to or maybe he no longer remembered.
Some truths are too heavy that they not only hurt but change you completely. Satya did not lose his life but he lost himself because of one incident. And true to his name his life became tied to a truth he was never meant to know or carry.
Because somewhere in the past he saw something, he was never meant to see.
Glossary:
Kanna- loving nickname in Tamil
Pic credit: unsplash
