Drugs Drama Unfolds In Tharanachery Primary School
Tharanachery, Kerala
Express Times News Service
March 25, 2025
High drama unfolded today in the premises of Tharanachery Government Primary School on Monday afternoon during the attempted capture of an alleged drug kingpin.
This newspaper had earlier reported on the School’s Annual Day festivities, mentioning that Mrs Sarala Nambiar (55), Arts and Crafts Mistress of the school, made a contribution of smoking and drugs to the proceedings.
On reading the article a squad from Tharanachery Police was immediately dispatched to nab the accused. “We had intelligence about a drug lord operating in Tharanachery but were not able to identify their identity. Thanks to your reporting, we determined that this individual was the likely villain mastermind of the sinister drug nexus corrupting the youth of the area,” Sub-Inspector Jagadeeshan informed us.
In a carefully coordinated operation, the schoolchildren, headmistress and teachers were quietly extricated from the school premises under the gentle snoring of Mrs Nambiar engaged in her usual post lunch siesta in the staffroom.
Headmistress Sreekala Ravindiran was shocked by the news that her school had been harboring a dangerous criminal and possible drug pusher. “She always seemed so normal, although now that you mention it, she did seem to get excessively angry at times. Especially if the topic of her salary came up. Ente Devame!”
Parineeta Nair, 12, a student of 7th Std, told our reporter on the spot Nandakumar, “Old Sarala Mam is a druggie? Hehe could be, could be. She gave me zero on my submission once. Eda Cheta, you got anything on you? Maal? Weed? Beedis?”
“We studied military procedure to prepare for this operation,” SI Jagadeeshan told us. “We assumed the accused to be a highly dangerous and ruthless individual capable of taking hostages to ensure her escape from justice.”
The police used loudspeakers to call upon the accused to surrender, informing her that the school was surrounded and there was no escape. After an initial silence a loud angry response was heard from within the school.
“What are you talking about you bloody mandans. I am an Arts and Crafts teacher with a spotless record. Have you all lost your collective wits.” At this point a size 8 ladies’ chappal came flying through an open window striking a constable in the eye, necessitating his immediate transfer to the local hospital.
“It is touch and go whether he will keep his eye or not”, SI Jagadeeshan told us grimly. “Clearly the accused is a violent madwoman who will stop at nothing. Poor Constable Santosh. It is an eye opener for us,” he added.
As shocking and unprintable abuse continued to pour from within the school, the accused’s husband Balachandran Nambiar (59) was brought to the school. He attempted to try and persuade his wife to surrender.
“Sarala! What all am I hearing. Drugs is it? Please come out at once. You are bringing shame to our family.”
“Balachandarey! Shame aa? You’re accusing me of shameful behavior? Do you think no one knows about your second family in Kannur! You can go stay with them only. Don’t come back! Sheh! Nee Poda!”
Mr Nambiar was overheard mumbling “Is it within your regulations to shoot her” to the police before he departed the scene, after requesting the assembled members of the Press not to mention his alleged second family in Kannur.
An attempt by the police to gain access to the school premises by climbing in through a window was foiled when the accused appeared in an upper storey and emptied a large pathram of fish curry left over from lunch over their heads, forcing a hasty retreat with much cursing and swearing.
“We have never had to deal with such a demonic foe before,” observed SI Jagadeeshan. “Nothing in the Police SOP Manual had prepared us for this. Also you heard her screaming the worst abuses at us. Things I have never heard from the most hardened criminals. I don’t think any of us will be able to sleep after this. This is not what I signed up for when I joined the Kerala Police”, he observed gloomily.
As the siege wore on and the accused showed no signs of surrendering, the police took the drastic step of lobbing in tear gas shells to flush the miscreant out.
As clouds of white smoke arose from the school building windows the accused could be heard bringing down the wrath of all her ancestors upon the Police, her husband, the school administration, the Kerala Board of Education and Miss Bindu the Gym Mistress who, she alleged, wears overly revealing clothing and takes too many selfies.
At this point some of the children, who appeared to be thoroughly enjoying the proceedings, drew the police’s attention to the miscreant making a break for it under cover of the thick smoke. “See see Sarala Mam is running away! Catch her catch her! Haha!”
“The accused tucked up her saree and took off like a bat out of hell through a back window,” SI Jagadeeshan told us. “I have never seen a stout 55 year old Malayalee woman move like that. Definitely she was on some drugs. That’s the only explanation.”
Mrs Nambiar was finally brought down after a high speed foot chase through the streets of Tharanachery during which three constables and a passing bullock sustained injuries. She is now incarcerated in police custody under suicide watch. Investigations are ongoing.
The Chief Minister has personally thanked this newspaper for its important role in exposing the unholy nexus between the accused and the raging drug problem in the State.
The Express Times of India continues to bring you the best in honest investigative journalism.
Tharanachery, Kerala
Express Times News Service
March 27, 2025
Correction
The article on the contribution to the Annual Day of Mrs Sarala Nambiar (55), Arts and Crafts Mistress, Tharanachery Government Primary School, should have read “smocking and rugs” and not “smoking and drugs.” The error is sincerely regretted.
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Glossary
Ente Devame: My God
Eda Cheta: Hey, Older Brother
Maal: Can mean alcohol, cigarettes, or other illicit substances
Mandan: Moron
Nee Poda: You get lost!
Pathram: Cooking vessel
