“Hello, This is Devan.”
“I don’t know anyone by that name. Don’t disturb me and don’t…..”.
“Wait, don’t cut the phone. I know you are undergoing problems. I can help”
“Hmmm. No one can help me. My husband passed away recently. My kids are all abroad. I am so lonely. They are asking me to move in with them. But I… I… don’t want to….“
“Don’t cry. Maybe I can help you. Tell me from the beginning. How did you and your husband meet?”
“Oh…… Okay. No harm in telling you. I haven’t even thought about it for so many years. Amit and I met at college. We fell in love when we participated in an inter-college debate. I was impressed with his arguments. His thoughts were focused and his words felt like the flow of a stream: Clear and ceaseless.”
“Were you from the same college?”
“No. We were from different institutions and were on the opposite teams. He had counter points to all my views. He carefully demolished all my assertions.”
“How did he look? Did you fall for his looks or his intellect?”
“He was not traditionally good looking – on the dark side – but had piercing eyes and a gentle smile. I think I fell for his smile.”
“Did he reciprocate your love?”
“Yes. He found my fiery temper attractive. He liked how my anger was always directed at situations and predicaments – never against people. Oh. How I miss him. How…. I miss… I miss…”
“Don’t cry. It’s the law of life. People die and the ones left behind have to deal with their memories and live through heartbreak.”
“But why did it have to be me? I should have gone. Then I could have skipped all this sorrow. Amit was better at dealing with grief. Even when the kids left for colleges and jobs, he was the stoic one. I cried for days. I remember going to a restaurant and bawling suddenly because the waiter mentioned garlic naan, my daughter’s favourite bread. It was Amit, who explained to the waiter why I cried and consoled me. I remember the look on the waiter’s face. How it changed from confusion to understanding. From bewilderment to sympathy.”
“Amit sounds like an amazing person.”
“Yes. We were so happy together. But since he passed there’s only loneliness….. Life seems so bleak without Amit…. I have been thinking of ending it all.”
“How do you plan to do it? You can talk to me about it. I can even help.”
“What? You will help me with killing myself? What kind of a human being says that? Don’t you have any sympathy? I will report you to the police. I don’t know how many other people you can kill with this attitude.”
“Cool down. I said that to see if your anger, that trait Amit loved so much, still lurks in you. I want to ask you something. You said Amit was good at dealing with grief. What would he have done in the same case?”
“Hmmmm. I think he would have cried his heart out and then gone and volunteered to work with an orphanage or NGO. He would smile and laugh normally but carry my memories in his heart.”
“Now, do you realise that’s exactly how you should go on with your life?”
“I think you have opened my eyes. I am happy to….. Helloooo..”
“Sorry. I hope you were not troubled by this call. This is a psychiatric ward. Our patient, Mr. Devan, was a famous grief counsellor once. But now he is a patient here. He sometimes takes the phone and calls random numbers and talks. Hope he did not trouble you.”
“No.. No.. In fact he has helped me. I now know what to do with my life.”
